you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
