Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
