I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
