I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I have fence marks all over my body
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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