Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
