you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
