the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
