Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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