some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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