Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
