FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
