i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
