I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
