Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Let's paint friendship bongs
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
