have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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