How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
