Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
