You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The Olympian is in my bed
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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