So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
