they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
