She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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