It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
