for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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