did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize