his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
