Well douche your snatch and let's go!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
