it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
