Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
