today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
