There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize