He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
