Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
