Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
