One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
