No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
