you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
