I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
