Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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