It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
