i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize