Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
