It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize