I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
