I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i think my cat just said my name.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
