I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
