Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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