I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
