I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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