it wasn't lemon gatorade
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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