I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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