I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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