I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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