i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
