She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize