He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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