While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
