Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
