i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just cropdusted the office
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
