And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
