Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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