We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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