I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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