his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize