one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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