I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
