Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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