I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
