They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Randomize
