well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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