Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
