A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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